You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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