i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Randomize
