You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
