my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Is it because I queefed?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
