I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
