I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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