i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
