if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
