i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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