Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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