Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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