I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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