Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he puts the penis in happiness.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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