i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
