i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
