i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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