he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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