I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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