you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
