she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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