i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
