I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Randomize
