those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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