girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
