One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
