I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every concussion has its silver lining
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
you never un-have a 4some
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize