# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.