You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
