Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
