Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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