I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize