Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
