so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Randomize
