Moan for me like Helen Keller
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
