mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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