Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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