a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
false alarm, still single
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
