I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
