did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
