My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
