Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
