i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
