remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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