I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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