I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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