the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
