ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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