About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
