Dual....:-)
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
