She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
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Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
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Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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