Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
