Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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