No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
is wine microwaveable?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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