update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize