Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
