Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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