You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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