being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
