Me too!
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
you never un-have a 4some
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
