i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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