i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
