So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
