I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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