Apparently you make a good broom.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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