also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
