i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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