No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
