the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I am spending my child support on dildos
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
