Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
