We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
