I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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