I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
