yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
