oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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